More Wit and Wisdumb...Part 1 of 2...

I spend a lot of time thinking. When I'm driving, when I'm at the airport, when I'm at a party, when I'm shopping...the gears are always churning with crazy thoughts and ideas. I've started collecting these thoughts. Anytime I have one that I think is good, I add it to the little list I've created on my phone. Now that I have a few of these together, I thought they'd make for a good blogging.

Here goes:

For the guys out there. How many times have you gone to a party, gotten a drink, put it down, turned around for a minute and when you came back, there were several identical glasses/cups on the table. Here's my suggestion. Look for one that has lipstick on it...and take that one. Why you may ask? Basically, if you're gonna swap spit with anyone at the party, it might as well be a girl. I mean honestly fellas, if you're at a party and had a few drinks, there's probably very few girls you wouldn't make out with anyway.

Next, for those of you that don't travel much...or even those of you that do, here's a little airport advice. Anytime you are going to fly, make sure you wear shoes with socks. All airports require that you remove your shoes while going through the security checkpoint. Do you really want your bare piggies touching the nasty, never- cleaned floor, where all those other people's bare piggies have been? I know I don't. It's almost as bad as the guys at the gym that use the locker room urinals and stalls barefoot. I really hope none of them travel.

Speaking of wardrobe suggestions, here's another. Like many people, I often wear a red shirt with khaki shorts or pants. It's a perfectly normal outfit. However, it's a huge mistake if you plan on shopping at a Target. As you may know, red and khaki is the official "uniform" of Target employees...and one of the few company uniforms that could also be a normal outfit. On two separate occasions now, I have gone to Target accidentally wearing this color combination. Both times I have been stopped by no less than three shoppers that asked me where certain items were located. (Now, had it been a Wegmans, obviously, I would have known. But, Targets are big stores with lots of items...and more importantly, I don't work there.) So...then I have this awkward moment where I have to tell the person I don't work there...which is then returned with one of the two following looks. 1. They look at me like I am lying to them because I am too lazy to help them, or don't know the answer. Or, 2. They look at me like "Well then while the hell are you wearing a Target uniform....idiot." I'm gonna just start telling people random aisle numbers.

And for my final thought... When you cross a one way street, do you still have to look both ways?

Stay tuned for part 2...