F-ing Gym Tourists....Part 2

Well here it is...the long awaited part 2 to my gym tourists post.


3. The Locker Room Exhibitionist- While I've only had experience with the men's locker room, (despite my efforts to sneak in to the women's) I'm pretty sure that this issue occurs with both sexes. These individuals insist on being naked any chance they get. This behavior isn't just limited to tourists, but it's heinous enough that it's worth mentioning. Usually, the older and less attractive the person, the more likely they are to be an offender. Shaving? Naked. Sauna? Naked. Conversations with other people in the locker room? Naked. Using the urinal? Naked. (AND barefoot....which in my opinion is almost worse than the naked part) Here's the deal. No one, I repeat, no one, wants to see your old hairy balls...Not even that creepy sex starved gay guy that's always lurking around the showers. The gym has stacks of towels everywhere...WEAR ONE. Basically, when I'm in the locker room, I want to change my clothes and leave. I don't want to have a conversation with you. I really don't want to have a conversation with you while you are naked. And...I really really really don't want to have a conversation with you while you are naked and doing your best "got a little captain in you" pose. Ewwww.


4. The slob- This one I just don't get. You're in a health club...not a frat house. These tourists seem to think that the entire gym is their bedroom floor. They leave their sweaty clothes and towels all over the floor of the locker room. They have towels on multiple pieces of equipment, they leave the weights, giant ball things and other equipment wherever they want. The other day I had to go through an obstacle course of magazines, newspapers, jacket and water bottle some Douchebag had all around the narrow aisle between the cardio machines.

5. The Budger- Taking turns...we all learned about it in Kindergarten. It's really not a hard concept. If someone is on a machine and using it, then steps off to rest, there is a good chance they plan on using it again. If you would like to use that machine, ASK THE PERSON IF THEY ARE DONE!!! It's not complicated. "ARE YOU DONE?" That's it, that's all you have to say. If someone has their towel next to a machine and turn their back for 5 seconds while resting between sets, that does not mean you can jump in and change all the settings on the machine. You can ask, "Mind if I work in?" and alternate....perfectly acceptable. But, if you just jump in and start doing your stuff and interrupt what the other person was doing, you're a tourist.....and an ass. Also, while we're on the topic, this goes for equipment that has multiple uses. For example, if someone is on the chin up bar doing chin ups, wait till they are done before you jump on the other side and start doing dips. Your fat ass shakes the whole thing and it's really distracting.

6. The Couch Potato- This is the final offender that I'm going to mention. This is the person that does 45 minutes on the most popular machine during peak time at the gym. The catch however, is that 5 minutes of it is exercising and the other 40 is standing there to watch the rest of the TV show that's on. The TV's on the machines are a convenience for the people exercising, not for just standing there and watching. Judging by your current level of physical fitness, I'm fairly certain that you have a perfectly good TV at home....and you spend plenty of time sitting in front of it. If you just want to watch TV, you don't need to put on all your fancy clothes, have a naked conversation in the locker room, get on your cell phone, and jump on the already in use tread mill that the person just stepped off to refill their water to watch that episode of Jersey Shore. Just stay home. Everyone will be much happier that way.