I was speechless...

Yeah, you read that right. Me...JewBoy...Speechless.

It was a few years ago, My dad, his friend, his friend's son and I went to San Diego for the night. It was time for dinner and we drove into La Jolla. (A very upscale area of San Diego) There was an area with 4 nice restaurants. We pulled up to the Valet in my dad's friend's brand new Cadillac and felt like trailer trash. It looked like an exotic car showroom. Vintage Rolls Royces, Bentleys, Ferraris, Porsches and so on. Unbelievable. Anyway, we picked the Italian restaurant. We were seated, and began chatting. This was typical guy chat...dirty jokes, critiques of the women in the restaurant, whose were real, whose were after-market, you know, the usual. As you know from reading previous posts, my dad and I have a pretty inappropriate sense of humor. His friend and his son were no different. We noticed a table with a large party about 20 feet away that became the topic of discussion. There was an older man who everyone entering the restaurant shook hands with or kissed. There were several females, some attractive and some very attractive. I think there was a couple of other people too...who knows, they're not important to the story. I think it goes without saying that our conversation was fairly "colorful".

Then it happened.

We were pretty engrossed in our conversation when out of nowhere, a woman came over to our table and put her hand on my dad's shoulder. She looked at all of us and said... "I just have to tell you guys that you are hilarious." Huh? She went on to say she had a couple of brothers so she knew what it was like and thought it was funny and just wanted to tell us. Huh? Then she dropped the bomb and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, let me explain. I work at the national institute for the deaf and am a professional lip reader. I have been sitting at that table over there and read everything you guys said. But, it's not me that got implants, it's the other girl and yes she does some modeling. The old guy's not Mafia, but his relative is..." and all the crap we were talking about.

Yes, she repeated all of the topics from our entire conversation to us, word for word. Then she said, "Have a great night" and returned to her table. We were all absolutely speechless and afraid to say another word. We had to quickly think up a strategy, this was too good not to talk about.

Anything on the table became our shield from the lip reader. Menus, napkins, pretending to wipe our faces while we talked, they were all sneaky tricks to keep our conversation to ourselves. Our stealthy skills must have worked because we were able to eat our (very delicious) meal and leave without the mafia brother, or whoever else was at that table kicking our asses for all the shit we were talking.


The moral of the story: Always watch what you say...because you never know who else might.