As I mentioned in Don't Stop...The Eating....Hold on to that feeeeeeeeling....., it's tourist season once again....at the gym. I've decided this topic needs to be addressed a little more formally.
For those of you who decided to jump on that New Year's Resolution bandwagon and "start working out", this post is for you. For all of you that have belonged to a gym for more than 10 days, I think you'll really appreciate this post.
Tourist season, as I like to call it, is that time of year when everyone and their brother decide to join a gym and start working out. Now some of them actually do it right and should be commended for their efforts. The other 98% however, are just assholes. See the picture above as an example... There's the idiot guy doing dumb bell bench press on the leg press machine, and the annoying chick on the cardio machine blabbing away on her phone at the top of her lungs about her latest life drama. These are gym tourists and their behavior should not be tolerated. This post will outline some of the worst gym tourist offenders, followed by some constructive suggestions for what these people can do to remove themselves from the tourist category.
1. The "super cute" sporty newbie- We've all see this piece of work. It's the guy or girl who just spent about $1000 on new running shoes, high end workout pants, shirts, a new ipod, sweatbands, and a variety of other workout apparel. Everything matches, and they look like professional fitness experts. However, when they are at the gym, they do just about nothing. A lap or two walk around the track, maybe try one or two of the weight machines....then it's off to Starbucks for a 400 calorie latte and a 30 min cell phone conversation with their BFF on what a great workout they had and how proud they are of themselves for going to the gym. As many of you may know, every gym has that one person that is a total, disgusting sweat factory. I think after that person finishes a 2 hour high impact spinning class, the newbie should have to wear that person's clothes and do the same workout that the Russian guy did in Rocky 4....that seems fair.
Here's my suggestion: Save your money. You get just as good of a workout in $5 t-shirts and shorts. Use that extra cash for a trainer so you have someone there to actually make you do something...and do it right.
2. The cell phone chatter- Sweet, Sea Parting Moses, get off the G-D phone! It's one hour of your day. I promise you that your life will continue without having that stupid phone glued to your head...or even worse...that retarded bluetooth earpiece. No one at the gym wants to hear your conversation...especially when you have to TALK EXTRA LOUD SO YOU CAN BE HEARD OVER ALL THE CARDIO MACHINES! No one wants to hear what you are blabbing about...and by the way, this probably includes the person on the other end of the phone as well. This offense is especially infuriating when the person is blabbing away on the phone while standing in front of one of the "NO CELL PHONE" signs that are hung all over the gym.
My suggestion: Work on your literacy before you work on your physical fitness. That way you'll know the rules at the gym and be able to read the labels on all the food you shouldn't be eating.
To be continued....
For those of you who decided to jump on that New Year's Resolution bandwagon and "start working out", this post is for you. For all of you that have belonged to a gym for more than 10 days, I think you'll really appreciate this post.
Tourist season, as I like to call it, is that time of year when everyone and their brother decide to join a gym and start working out. Now some of them actually do it right and should be commended for their efforts. The other 98% however, are just assholes. See the picture above as an example... There's the idiot guy doing dumb bell bench press on the leg press machine, and the annoying chick on the cardio machine blabbing away on her phone at the top of her lungs about her latest life drama. These are gym tourists and their behavior should not be tolerated. This post will outline some of the worst gym tourist offenders, followed by some constructive suggestions for what these people can do to remove themselves from the tourist category.
1. The "super cute" sporty newbie- We've all see this piece of work. It's the guy or girl who just spent about $1000 on new running shoes, high end workout pants, shirts, a new ipod, sweatbands, and a variety of other workout apparel. Everything matches, and they look like professional fitness experts. However, when they are at the gym, they do just about nothing. A lap or two walk around the track, maybe try one or two of the weight machines....then it's off to Starbucks for a 400 calorie latte and a 30 min cell phone conversation with their BFF on what a great workout they had and how proud they are of themselves for going to the gym. As many of you may know, every gym has that one person that is a total, disgusting sweat factory. I think after that person finishes a 2 hour high impact spinning class, the newbie should have to wear that person's clothes and do the same workout that the Russian guy did in Rocky 4....that seems fair.
Here's my suggestion: Save your money. You get just as good of a workout in $5 t-shirts and shorts. Use that extra cash for a trainer so you have someone there to actually make you do something...and do it right.
2. The cell phone chatter- Sweet, Sea Parting Moses, get off the G-D phone! It's one hour of your day. I promise you that your life will continue without having that stupid phone glued to your head...or even worse...that retarded bluetooth earpiece. No one at the gym wants to hear your conversation...especially when you have to TALK EXTRA LOUD SO YOU CAN BE HEARD OVER ALL THE CARDIO MACHINES! No one wants to hear what you are blabbing about...and by the way, this probably includes the person on the other end of the phone as well. This offense is especially infuriating when the person is blabbing away on the phone while standing in front of one of the "NO CELL PHONE" signs that are hung all over the gym.
My suggestion: Work on your literacy before you work on your physical fitness. That way you'll know the rules at the gym and be able to read the labels on all the food you shouldn't be eating.
To be continued....
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2 comments:
My hero!!
DS
this is why i dont go to the gym...well that and gyms cost money
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