Don't Stop...The Eating...Hold on to that feeeeeeeeeling...

So my muffin tops have completely exploded from the pan and will need take some serious effort to combat. As if that weren't bad enough, I had to wait 10 god damn minutes for a cardio machine at the gym today. Yes, we have entered Dateuary, the first couple of weeks of the new year where everyone still writes 2008 on everything and made "resolutions" to lose the weight from the two week binge-fest of the holidays. The good news is that it usually only lasts a few weeks and they all go back to their normal lard loving lives. Good. The fatter they stay, the better Mydea will work out.

In case you haven't noticed, food over the years has gotten less and less healthy. Look at the commercials on TV. Theres, the Baconator, 8 slices of bacon, 4 slices of cheese and two burger patties. That of course is always accompanied by a large fries and sugar filled soda...and eventually a Lipitor. Then there's the Outback Steakhouse Aussie cheese fries with ranch dressing appetizer. This pre-meal fat-fest packs over 2,900 calories, and 182 grams of fat. Even if you split it with three friends, you've already consumed an entire dinner's worth of calories before you even start your entree. Oink. As terrible as all this sounds, people are eating it up. (Pun very much intended)

This brings us to Mydea. Where will it stop? Food's getting worse and worse and I'm gonna jump on that sagging axeled band wagon and come up with this...

Popeye's (or KFC's, whoever bids higher for the idea) Extreme Chicken Skinners. That's right, just the best part, the skin. Here's how I envision the commercial-



Announcer: NEW! Extreme Chicken Skinners. That's right, the best part of the chicken now comes as it's own meal. We take the chicken, cut it up, bread it, fry it, then peel off the skin, throw out the meat and bones and pile it high. Dip it in one of our new crazy dippers- Cajun butter sauce, lemon garlic lard sauce, or zesty bacon ranch.

Got EXTREME HUNGER? Make it an EXTREME MEAL! Add a side of our Corn Dog Shells with Mac-N-Cheese dipping sauce, or our gravy smothered, double battered fried American cheese sticks. WOAAAAHHHHH!!!!


Laugh all you want. I know I will....all the way to the bank.