It's a beautiful hot summer day and you're outside at the beach or park or something. You grab a beer, crack it open take a sip, Ahhhhhhh. Then you put it down, do something for a minute, pick it back up for a sip and......yuck, it's warm. Yeah, it doesn't take long for that delicious ice cold beer to turn into warm flat swag. Well, this seems like a natural match made in heaven. The CoolCan.
There's people that have tried this before and over-engineered the hell out of it. Developing new designs with toxic refrigerants and conductive materials, blah. The technology is already out there. It's just that no one has put it all together yet..until I came along. It would be a standard beer can but with a "false bottom". You'd twist the false bottom and it would mix the two chemicals used in instant ice packs. It gets cold instantly and stays cold for up to 30 minutes (for the nursers out there). No more dragging coolers. No more buying ice. No more wasted space in the fridge keeping the beer cold. It's win win. So go ahead, grab yourself a warm one.
Now, to tag along onto last night's idea. We have the toots under control, but what about a different type of undergarment inconvenience..."Creep Up". This is especially common to boxer shorts. You sit down, you slide forward a little, then you stand up. Your pants adjust but your underwear stays halfway up your ass. Then you're forced to try to pull your underwear down without looking like your giving the old undercarriage a little "how's your daddy?". Well, I've come up with a solution.
JockSnaps: Boxer shorts with small button holes or metal snaps sewn as shown in the diagram below to prevent the dreaded Creep up...also known as a wedgie.
All that would be required is a simple alteration to any pair of pants. Put a small button or snap on the inside of the pants right on the seam. It would be totally invisible and line up with the button hole on the boxers. As you stand up, a gentle tug on your thighs realigns both the pants and the boxers. JockSnaps and FlatuScents would of course be compatible to create a truly winning combination. Pass the gas and keep the undies out of your ass.
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1 comment:
oy! For this I sent you off to college to be an engineer.?? I was hoping for a silent pencil sharpener or a riding vaccum. you and kenzie seem to be centered around underwear and the problems that come out of it, or rather go on inside of it.
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