Home(less)boy Stole My Joke...

So we've all been there. You're walking down the street and sure enough some homeless person hits you up for money. Sometimes they have a story, sometimes they have a sign, sometimes they just have a cup they shake. No matter how they do it, I rarely give them anything. (Big surprise I'm sure) However, there was one occasion that for some reason I was feeling slightly generous. I was in Kansas City and just walked out of a nice restaurant onto the street, carrying a bag with some leftovers in it. It was about 4 degrees outside and very windy. A man approached me and asked if I had any spare change. He was physically disabled and using crutches to walk. My sympathy overpowered my cheapness and I said, "I don't have any change, but here, have some dinner." He looked at me and said "What is it?" Somewhat taken aback, figuring anything would be better than stumbling around homeless in the freezing cold, I said, "It's chicken and some pot stickers." He mulled it over for a second and said, "Yeah, OK." took it and hobbled off. I got to my hotel and quickly called my buddy to tell him about the situation. His response was "Tell me you said it". "Said what?", I asked. "Said, Beggars can't be choosers" he replied. I stopped, it was the perfect response, and somehow I didn't think of it. Dammit.

Fast forward about a year or so. I'm in San Francisco out to dinner with some co-workers. I tell them the story of the guy in Kansas City and how I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to use the beggars can't be choosers line. Unfortunately, every time I have leftovers, I don't see any homeless people, or, if I see homeless people I don't have any leftovers. One of my co-workers didn't finish her pasta and said I could take it in hopes of tonight being the night I could use "the line". We walked out of the restaurant and sure enough, a guy walked up and said that he was $3 short of having enough money to get a room for the night and he didn't want to sleep outside. It was the perfect chance. I said, I don't have any money, but here, you can have some dinner. He accepted the bag and said, "Oh, thank you, I appreciate it, I'm pretty hungry.....but I could still use some money". I said "C'mon, I just gave you some good food and you're still asking for more?" His response was "I know, I'm sorry man, I'm sorry, I do really appreciate it." Then he paused and said "After all, Beggars can't be choosers". I stood there awestruck. The homeless guy stole my joke. I was finally in the perfect spot to use it and he outwitted me. Needless to say, all my co-workers found it to be hilarious and threw him some cash. He hugged us all and went on his way, somehow now able to find a hotel for the night in San Francisco with what looked like about $7. I thought, $7 for a hotel? Wow, more witty and even cheaper than me? Finally, a worthy rival. I'd call him out any day for a battle of wits and frugality, but you know what they say, people with houses shouldn't throw stones.