Why I'm the way I am...Part 1...

Here's an excerpt from an IM conversation I had with my mom tonight. My comments are highlighted in yellow.

The Big M: HI

JewBoy: hi

The Big M: HOW IS TONIGHT'S BLOGGS COMING {Backspace key must be broken, errors never fixed, tends to yell a lot}

JewBoy: haven't started yet

JewBoy: no ideas

JewBoy: did you read last nights

JewBoy: about the chicken

The Big M: YES i MADE A COMMENT DID YOU SEE IT? {Caps Lock on explains the small “i” and all the yelling}

JewBoy: oh ok, that was you

JewBoy: yup

The Big M: YES BIG M IS ME

The Big M: ANYTHING ABOUT AIRLINE TRAVEL? {an idea for a blog post}

JewBoy: hmmmm

JewBoy: I had some ideas

The Big M: OK

JewBoy: but nothing blog worthy

The Big M: WHAT ABAOUT WEATHER PROBLEMS {another idea}

The Big M: OR SPORTS NUTS {wtf is a sports nut, another idea I guess?}

JewBoy: is your caps lock stuck?

The Big M: opps sorry {I knew it}

The Big M: I loved lasat night's blog

The Big M: commercials n TV? {another idea perhaps?}

JewBoy: extreme skinners?

The Big M: all meds advertised have more and worse side effects than the disease they are treating. I liked the extrememe Skinners. sound good to me {another idea}

JewBoy: you should start a blog

The Big M: men taking Viagara seem to be very good dancers

The Big M: is the side effect you can dance even if yo never danced before?

The Big M: they are alwasy dancing {another idea and a good point, does the horizontal mambo count as a dance?}

JewBoy: blog it

The Big M: I will leave it to you. I don't think I would be a good bloggest {Bloggest is a synonym for blogger, also means “The most blog”}

JewBoy: maybe

The Big M: here is an idea. about sizes of things. ,em's {men’s maybe?} underwear rarley comes in small( probably condoms don'ts either. (a man's thing) or olives medium, large and colassal. coffees large granda etc {backspace key clearly still broken}

JewBoy: again, you should write a blog

JewBoy: you have lots of ideas

JewBoy: its very easy

The Big M: womens underwear, petite, small. can you see a man asking for a petite condom

JewBoy: not likely

The Big M: how about colored condoms. manly blue or soft pink? I don't really know about them, but I thnk they come in colors and flavors too. you could do a great blogg on that {gross}

JewBoy: maybe I'll write about all your great ideas

The Big M: that would be very flattering! {careful what you wish for, heh heh heh}

JewBoy: we''ll see

The Big M: so is there anything new ?

JewBoy: not really, had a business dinner tonight so I am stuffed

The Big M: what did you eat?

JewBoy: so no problem with me using your ideas on my blog? {thought I’d sneak this in there, so I have proof of consent}

JewBoy: wings, spicy green beans, soup, dumplings,

The Big M: not at all. I won't even charge you. {and there’s my consent and it's free too….score!}

JewBoy: ok, I"m gonna use it, I gave you fair warning

The Big M: I love spicey freen beans {I should really fix that backspace key for her}

The Big M: Ok but if it is rated "r" son't put me in any footnotes or quote me

JewBoy: no no, I"m saying it's you

JewBoy: that's the best part

The Big M: not about condonms ..please!!

JewBoy: too late, you mentioned it

JewBoy: it's fair game

The Big M: remember I have pictures of you dresses as strawberry shortcake...{ahh, blackmail…dirty}

JewBoy: I think it will be titled, "Why I'm the way I am...part 1"

JewBoy: A typical conversation with my mom

The Big M: oy vey!! {Jewish for Oh Crap!!}

The Big M: just be sure to state that I have only heard that cndoms come in colors and seen on tv the adds for viagara.

JewBoy: ok ok

JewBoy: I have enough

JewBoy: I"m gonna start writing

The Big M: O get first refusal right?

The Big M: I

JewBoy: nope

The Big M: why not?

JewBoy: I am the writer

The Big M: and I am THE MOTHER

JewBoy: we'll see

The Big M: ok

The Big M: I am here

JewBoy: ok it'll be a while

The Big M: I will be here

JewBoy: ok

The Big M: let me know when it is done

JewBoy: ok {ok}

Is it all starting to make sense now? Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow.