Sunday, August 16, 2009

More, More Wit and Wisdumb...Part 2 of 2...

So I got pretty good feedback on my last round of Wit and Wisdumb...glad to hear it. Now it's time for the long anticipated part 2.

Here goes:

So, Schnooze and I are thinking about buying a new house. Naturally, we have been doing a lot of house shopping lately. One day while browsing through a house, I had a great idea.... If I were a thief, an open house is pretty much the greatest thing ever. I mean really, you can just walk into the house (many of which are totally furnished and still have all the home owners belongings in them) browse around, "case the joint" and plan your attack. I mean, all they have is some realtor sitting there to tell you how they just refinished the floors or something....then, you're allowed to roam freely through the house....alone. You could pocket anything you want, get a good idea of the layout, find out if the owners are living there or not, or even unlock a strategic window to make for an easy entrance late at night. The whole thing seems pretty risky to me. Of course, this post in no way condones stealing or breaking into's just a thought, that's all.

Here's a quickie...What happens if someone that keeps Kosher catches the swine flu?

As many of you know, Schnooze and I really enjoy cooking. As many of you may also know, I have a fairly large nose...which I do my best to keep as clean and tidy as possible. Now, on a different and soon to be related topic, you may not know that the inside membrane of your nose is very sensitive to capsaicin...the part of peppers that make them taste spicy. So, my advice to you is, NEVER pick your nose after cutting jalapenos...or any other spicy peppers. Wow! It's a really special type of pain.

And finally, here's one of my favorites bits of Wisdumb:

I pretty much go out to eat for lunch every day. I am also "fortunate" enough to work with what could very well be the two fastest eaters alive. So, it's pretty much a regular occurrence that they are completely done with their meal and ready to leave before I am even halfway through. Being cheap and wanting to get my money's worth, I always take the leftovers with me. Conveniently, our office has a refrigerator that I can keep my leftovers in until it's time to go home. However, it's very easy to forget about them. There were many occasions where I got home, ready for my afternoon snack, only to realize it was still in the fridge at work. Dammit! Well, I figured out the solution. Put your car keys with your leftovers. That way, you can't go home without the leftovers. Simple as that! Of course you may walk all the way out to your car only to realize you don't have your keys...but, at least you won't have to do it again on an empty stomach. Ah Ha! (Note: The picture above is my home fridge and used for illustrative purposes only. It's not the fridge at my office, so that should explain the beer.)

And there it is....Wit and Wisdumb part 2. Stay tuned for my T-shirt and Bumper sticker ideas.