And I'm back. I know, I know, it's been a long time...and for that I apologize. I've been pretty busy but will try to get back into it. One post a week is the current goal. So here we go, this one's packed with valuable info so read carefully....
So now that all of you are fluent in Jewbonics, it's time for your next lesson. Shopping...and the way of the Jew. Some of you may be familiar with a common stereotype about Jews being cheap. Well, that's not entirely true. It's not that we're cheap, we buy plenty of nice stuff. Drive by a temple on a saturday morning, there's no shortage of luxury cars. (American, Japanese, and Italian luxury cars of course, on account of the fact that the "Nazi bastards" make the rest of them) It's clear that we're not cheap, we're just better at shopping. Whether it's hunting down a good sale, maybe doing a little "negotiating" or of course, using the occasional coupon, (or as a few of my less culturally sensitive friends call them, "Jewpons") we usually end up getting a good deal.
Most sons and daughters have games that they play with their fathers. It could be playing catch, chess, basketball, whatever. My father and I had a bit of a different game. We would have receipt battles. Essentially, the competition was based on who could save the most money on a shopping trip to the grocery store. Now you may be thinking, "JewBoy, that's not fair, you worked at Wegmans (Greatest grocery store ever) and clearly had an advantage with your superior grocery store knowledge." While that is true, my father is a Certified Public Account and therefore, a very worthy adversary.
A typical phone call would go like this:
RING RING...
JewBoy: "Hello.."
Dad: "OK, are you ready?"
JewBoy: "I'm ready, let's hear it..."
Dad: "Grand total- Fifty six dollars and forty eight cents"
JewBoy: "Ok...and?"
Dad: "After coupons and Shoppers Club (or whatever the in store sale program was)....wait for it... Thirty one dollars and twenty two cents. A total savings of twenty five dollars and twenty six cents."
JewBoy: "Well done!"
I would then read off my recent shopping trip and we would see who had saved the most. Naturally, we converted the savings to a percentage to keep the competition fair.
So by now I know you are all thinking "JewBoy, that's incredible! How can I too, learn the way of the Jew when it comes to shopping?"
Well today is your lucky day, I'm going to let you in on a couple of secrets.
All you have to do is follow these four rules...
1. Read the price tags carefully, especially on the endcaps of the aisles. Large signs that say "WOW" don't mean the product is on sale. They're usually just the original price on a big fancy sign...no savings there. Skip those and go to the regular part of the aisle where the product is. There is almost always a different size or brand that is on sale.
2. Now that you've found an item with an actual sale tag, look to see what the sale is. Sure, 2/$3.00 may seem like a great deal, but not if the product is usually priced at $1.59. Wow, a whopping $.18 savings if you buy two...don't waste your time.
3. Spend the $1.00 for the Sunday paper...but only after you've checked it to make sure that there are at least two coupon sections. Every once in a while they don't put them in, so essentialy you'd be starting off at a $1.00 loss. Cut out the coupons for the stuff you normally buy, but may not necessarily need right now. Cereal, paper products and toiletries are best. Next time you go to the store, see if any of the items are on sale. If they are on sale, buy them. If not, hang on to the coupon till next time, sales typically rotate every week or so. There's a chance it will be on sale next time. I call this the "double dip". Not only are you getting the good sale price, but you get the coupon savings too. This is a killer strategy for receipt battles.
4. This one is the "Ancient Chinese Secret" of "the way of the shopping Jew"...and probably the most valuable. Grocery stores will often run "Buy One Get One Free" sales, or BOGO as they call it in the grocery world. While this is a good deal on its own, there is an even better strategy. Use a coupon in conjunction with the BOGO. But here is the super secret. Most people think they are buying one and getting one free. True, but...technically you are buying two and getting a discount equal to the value of the second product. So, you can use TWO coupons! AHA! Here's an example. Cereal is Buy one box for $3.59 and get one free. A good deal. But, you clipped the coupons for "Save $1.00 on any box of cereal". You have purchased two boxes, so you can use two coupons. That's $1.59 for two boxes of cereal! (And more importantly, a savings of $5.59, which will help ensure a receipt battle victory.)
For those that doubt my abilities, here's a copy of my receipt from a picnic we had last weekend. Click on the image to see all the glorious details of my savings....and I didn't even use any coupons!
So now that all of you are fluent in Jewbonics, it's time for your next lesson. Shopping...and the way of the Jew. Some of you may be familiar with a common stereotype about Jews being cheap. Well, that's not entirely true. It's not that we're cheap, we buy plenty of nice stuff. Drive by a temple on a saturday morning, there's no shortage of luxury cars. (American, Japanese, and Italian luxury cars of course, on account of the fact that the "Nazi bastards" make the rest of them) It's clear that we're not cheap, we're just better at shopping. Whether it's hunting down a good sale, maybe doing a little "negotiating" or of course, using the occasional coupon, (or as a few of my less culturally sensitive friends call them, "Jewpons") we usually end up getting a good deal.
Most sons and daughters have games that they play with their fathers. It could be playing catch, chess, basketball, whatever. My father and I had a bit of a different game. We would have receipt battles. Essentially, the competition was based on who could save the most money on a shopping trip to the grocery store. Now you may be thinking, "JewBoy, that's not fair, you worked at Wegmans (Greatest grocery store ever) and clearly had an advantage with your superior grocery store knowledge." While that is true, my father is a Certified Public Account and therefore, a very worthy adversary.
A typical phone call would go like this:
RING RING...
JewBoy: "Hello.."
Dad: "OK, are you ready?"
JewBoy: "I'm ready, let's hear it..."
Dad: "Grand total- Fifty six dollars and forty eight cents"
JewBoy: "Ok...and?"
Dad: "After coupons and Shoppers Club (or whatever the in store sale program was)....wait for it... Thirty one dollars and twenty two cents. A total savings of twenty five dollars and twenty six cents."
JewBoy: "Well done!"
I would then read off my recent shopping trip and we would see who had saved the most. Naturally, we converted the savings to a percentage to keep the competition fair.
So by now I know you are all thinking "JewBoy, that's incredible! How can I too, learn the way of the Jew when it comes to shopping?"
Well today is your lucky day, I'm going to let you in on a couple of secrets.
All you have to do is follow these four rules...
1. Read the price tags carefully, especially on the endcaps of the aisles. Large signs that say "WOW" don't mean the product is on sale. They're usually just the original price on a big fancy sign...no savings there. Skip those and go to the regular part of the aisle where the product is. There is almost always a different size or brand that is on sale.
2. Now that you've found an item with an actual sale tag, look to see what the sale is. Sure, 2/$3.00 may seem like a great deal, but not if the product is usually priced at $1.59. Wow, a whopping $.18 savings if you buy two...don't waste your time.
3. Spend the $1.00 for the Sunday paper...but only after you've checked it to make sure that there are at least two coupon sections. Every once in a while they don't put them in, so essentialy you'd be starting off at a $1.00 loss. Cut out the coupons for the stuff you normally buy, but may not necessarily need right now. Cereal, paper products and toiletries are best. Next time you go to the store, see if any of the items are on sale. If they are on sale, buy them. If not, hang on to the coupon till next time, sales typically rotate every week or so. There's a chance it will be on sale next time. I call this the "double dip". Not only are you getting the good sale price, but you get the coupon savings too. This is a killer strategy for receipt battles.
4. This one is the "Ancient Chinese Secret" of "the way of the shopping Jew"...and probably the most valuable. Grocery stores will often run "Buy One Get One Free" sales, or BOGO as they call it in the grocery world. While this is a good deal on its own, there is an even better strategy. Use a coupon in conjunction with the BOGO. But here is the super secret. Most people think they are buying one and getting one free. True, but...technically you are buying two and getting a discount equal to the value of the second product. So, you can use TWO coupons! AHA! Here's an example. Cereal is Buy one box for $3.59 and get one free. A good deal. But, you clipped the coupons for "Save $1.00 on any box of cereal". You have purchased two boxes, so you can use two coupons. That's $1.59 for two boxes of cereal! (And more importantly, a savings of $5.59, which will help ensure a receipt battle victory.)
For those that doubt my abilities, here's a copy of my receipt from a picnic we had last weekend. Click on the image to see all the glorious details of my savings....and I didn't even use any coupons!
I only paid $24.39 for an order worth $51.88. That's right, a grand total savings of $27.49. That's 53% off! Just think, if everyone could "save" like that, Jesus might get a day off.
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8 comments:
well done Jason. You got it down to a science you could probably sell it as service. Save 25% on groceries.. they actually save 53% but you pocket the 28%. Get enough orders to save on, u might get even more savings buying in bulk.. or in grocery auctions popular today.
Wow... keep it coming Jason! Soon... I hope to get my inner Jew on.
I'm very proud that you paid close attention and learned the art of couponing. I hope that our skills will pass from generation to generation.
those are some great tips! and a very impressive receipt- thanks for the heads up :)
I didn't see any kosher food on that receipt! IMPOSTER!
Have you ever used a coupon to buy Poupon?
It's funny when I get a phone call about walgreens having cereal 2 for $4. My mom e-mails me coupons and calls me about sales. Then she checks up the day after to ask me if I went. If I didn't, she gets pretty angry because she spent the time to let me know about the sale.
Oh dear. I remember that. :P
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