The Mile High Challenge...

So as many of you may know, I travel quite a bit for work. This means I have to fly quite frequently. Over the years I have learned some good tricks. Today I present you with a challenge. According to the diagram below, which of the open white seats is the best choice? (As always, click on the picture for a larger view.) The choices are explained below the picture...no cheating.

Ok, here are the explanations in no particular order...


14B- Yes, the hot girl is tempting, but this is a bad choice. You are next to the lavatory and there is no girl hot enough to put up with the constant foul smells of 49 other passengers.

12D- No no no. Two frat boys to your left, a non English speaking neighbor, plus a screaming kid in front of you will not make for a pleasant trip.

9A, 9D, 10B and 10D- Nope, Talkers and cell phones and frat boys Oh my. Stay away from these choices.

1B- Ahh, this is tempting, but you don't want to be between this guy's infection and the lavatory. Same goes for 2C. Plus, it's in the front which means you have no leg room and you'll be listening to the political debate to your right.

3C- Loud frat boy and diagonal from a screaming kid. No good.

4C- Nope. Next to the sleeper is nice, but the last thing you want is a foreign language screaming kid to your left.

7A and 7D may look good, but these seats are in front of the exit row and don't recline. Not comfortable at all. Plus you'll be waiting forever for the first time travelers in 6A and B to get off the plane.

11B should be an obvious No by now. Screaming kid, foreign neighbor and in front of two frat boys. You'll be praying for a crash.

6D- You don't want to get stuck with a talker and have to listen to the frat boy on his phone. Plus, the hot chick will be able to see you through the seats so you'll be self conscious of the nerdy movies you were planning on watching on your laptop.

Well here we are, there's only one seat left. I know what you're thinking 3C? With the screaming kid and the foreign person? You're crazy JewBoy! Am I? Here's what you less astute travelers may have missed. Notice 2B, 3A and 4A are all foreign and therefore are surely traveling together. (Trust me, they always do) The screaming kid is clearly with them since it wouldn't be traveling alone. So, you take 3C as a seat, then immediately you offer to switch with 2B, so they can sit with the other person in their group and be closer to the "cute" kid. (This can easily be done with gestures to overcome the language barrier.) Mmmmmm Hmmmmm. Look at you now...Next to the hot chick in a sweet 2nd row aisle seat. You won't have to feel awkward about not choosing to move over to 2C since 2D needs constant access to the lavatory. Plus, there's no one in front of you so you don't have to worry about them reclining into your space. Loud frat boy is far enough away and the ridiculous arguing in 1C and 1D will provide a constant supply of topics of discussion for you and the 2A hottie. And, she'll have to squeeze by you when she needs to use the rest room...Perfect.