Wisdumb and Dumber...

Once again, it's time for a little Wisdumb. These are things I have learned...usually the hard way.


1. Using the bathroom at work or a restaurant can save a substantial amount of money on toilet paper. In times like these, every little bit helps.

2. If you drive a stick shift car, leave it in the gear you will be using when you return to the car.

3. Smell the milk before you drink it...in the glass, not the container.

4. For the men out there- When you've been outside in the cold for a while, warm up your hands a little before you urinate. You've all done it and know what I mean.

5. In the winter, after you get off of a fabric couch to go to bed, touch a metal chair or table or something non-electric before turning off the light. The light switch will shock you way worse, way way worse.

6. Waiters and Waitresses handle plates all day. I would go as far as to say that they are subject matter experts on plate temperature. There is no need to validate their knowledge.

7. Inside your car is absolutely the worst possible place to keep the lock de-icer.

8. The saying "A sharp knife is a safe knife" is a load of crap. All it means is that the cut will be so clean, it will take longer to realize you've made a near-fatal wound to your finger.


That's all for tonight. I'm off to dream about a shadowless groundhog.