"Inplated" Egos...

So last night I made a quick stop at Whole Foods. For those of you who aren't familiar with this store, I think my old roommate "Rubes" described it best. In his words, "It's the best place to shop if want to spend $9 on a jar of peanut butter". I also have a cousin who is a chef at one of the stores and among the employees, it's known as "Whole Paycheck". Now don't get me wrong, they have good products. Their meat and produce are very high quality. Almost as good as....well, you guessed, Wegmans. Unfortunately, as you may have seen in the video I posted in 1:19, it's about twice the price. So, it's pretty much a mecca for the tree hugging, crunchy granola, jamba juice drinking, high income hippies. It's full of those annoying people that act all smug cause they think they're single handedly saving the environment because they drive a Prius and you don't. The same people however, that also live in 6000 square foot houses with a heated pool, 3 refrigerators, multiple air conditioners and the lights on all the time. Assholes.

So, getting to the point. Last night I stopped there because they happen to carry passion fruits. My boss has been looking for fresh passion fruits unsuccessfully for some time now. Since, he's the one that decides how much bonus I get, I figured some mild ass kissing by helping him out wouldn't hurt. You've probably already figured out my opinion of the typical Whole Foods customer. So when I arrived and parked across from this, it was too perfect.

Dear Jack,

That's not a Jaguar. It's an Audi. You're not fooling anyone. Ass.

Love,

JewBoy


I could go off on a whole rant about Vanity plates. I think they're pretty stupid. Why would anyone want such easily recognizable, irrefutable proof that they were somewhere or did something. Sounds risky to me. My absolute pet peeve are the people who get a plate that says what type of car it is. Like the little pimped out Honda Civic that has a license plate that says "Civic", or the big wheeled truck with a plate that says "Chevy". Wow, how original. But, when you get a plate that lies about the type of car that you drive...That's just beyond retarded.