Helping my Homeless Homeboys...

You may remember my encounter with the residentially challenged gentleman in San Francisco. If not, read this first. I think about lots of things as I'm sure you've noticed from this blog. I find myself having the same recurring thought from time to time...What would I do if I were homeless? Have you ever thought about it? I have, especially in times like these where it seems like people are losing their jobs and their houses left and right. Fortunately for Schnooze and me, we're lucky enough to both have jobs so we're not really at risk...but still, I think about it. The other day I had a breakthrough in my "what if I were homeless" thoughts.

So, here it is, my advice to the homeless:

Join a healthclub. Yup, join a healthclub. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Well, here are my supporting arguments.

• Healthclubs are typically open long hours. For example, mine is open from 5am to 9:30pm. That means there would be less than 8 hours a day where you'd have to find somewhere else to be.

• The average cost for a healthclub membership for an entire month is between $50 and $75. The average cost for a single night at a hotel is at least $50. Rent for a cheap apartment is at least $300 a month. The healthclub is by far the cheapest choice for the maximum amount of shelter...typically nice shelter too. Leather couches and all that. Earning $50-$75 a month can't be that hard. That would be just over $2 a day in beggings.

• Healthclubs have showers. Those showers are stocked with soap, shampoo and conditioner. The sinks have combs, razors, mouthwash and shaving cream. Essentially all of your hygene needs would be met...for free.

• Healthclubs often have laundry service for an additional fee. (It's $20 a month at mine) Since it's done daily, that means all you'd need are two outfits. Less than $1 a day in beggings.
  

• There's also free coffee and water. That covers all your beverage needs. Food shouldn't be too hard with all the $1 menus these days. Raise your beggings to $4 a day and you'll be able to eat pretty well. In fact, if you join a healthclub near a Costco, (or grocery store) "sample walks" as I call them can practically be a full meal.

• There is a lounge, a pool, a sauna, steam room, excercise room, and classes to attend. That should keep you occupied (not to mention healthy and squeaky clean) from 5am to 9:30pm. Being in so many different places will make it hard for people to tell you've been there all day.
  

• There's always somewhere you can sleep from 9:30pm to 5am. For example, my healthclub has a heated garage. No one would ever notice you there. Zzzzzzzzzz.

• Healthclubs are full of people that are pretty motivated. Not only with respect to their physical fitness, but in other aspects of their life as well. That means they probably have ongoing projects that they may need help with. Remodeling, yardwork, etc. There will be plenty of opportunities for some work on the side or a free meal here and there. This could offset the need for the $4 a day beggings.

So there it is, for a mere $50-$75 a month all your health, hygene and shelter needs can be met. Homelessness solved. Next up, I think I'll solve Racism. How hard could that be.