Two Dented Thumbs Up...

It was 1987 and somehow I ended up in a production of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Typical type casting. Anyway, for my efforts, I was paid the handsome sum of $100. 1987 as some of you may remember was the year that the original Nintendo was released. So obviously, that's where the $100 went. Let me tell you, that was money well spent. I still have that Nintendo to this day and it's every bit as fun now as it was 22 years ago. However, there is one nasty side effect of excessive Nintendoing...which brings us to our first word of the day:

1. Carpal Thummel Syndrome: The dented and aching thumbs resulting from excessive video game playing.


Some of you may remember a very funny sketch on Saturday Night Live a few years back (when SNL was still occasionally funny) called Debbie Downer. It featured Lindsay Lohan and was really only funny because the cast couldn't keep it together. Watch the video below...



Debbie is the perfect example of our next word:

2. Kvetchitarian: Someone that is only capable of two types of verbal communication, whining and complaining. (For the non-jews, click here if you aren't familiar with the word Kvetch)



Ahhhhh, puberty. That painfully awkward time in everyone's life full of voice cracking, tall girls with short boys and of course, acne. Clearasil, Stridex, Neutrogena, it didn't matter, your efforts were futile against those pesky pimples because of our next word:


3. Rezitstance: The ability of a pimple to be completely unaffected no matter what or how much acne medication is applied to it. Rezitstance increases exponentially in conjunction with two factors. The first depends on where the pimple is located, the more obvious the zit, the more rezitstance. The second factor is the level of importance of any event you have to attend within the next few days. School dance, hot date, job interview, guess what? That zit isn't going anywhere.


So remember, don't be a Kvetchitarian about that zit, just stay home and play video games where no one will see you...but remember to rest those thumbs.