Wednesday, December 10, 2008

So this is Christmas...




Since the holidays are nearing, I think it's a good time to reflect on one particular Christmas that Schnoozle and I shared. It had been a couple of years and Schnoozle and I are officially "a couple". The holidays were approaching and it was decided that we would spend Christmas with her family. Schnoozle's family are fairly devoted Christians and pretty active with their church. Fine with me. We'll go to church and do all the traditional Christmas things. I figured it wouldn't exactly be eight crazy nights of potato pancakes, menorah lighting and dreidel spinning insanity, like us jews are accustomed to, but I was sure it'd be entertaining at the least. Just a quick side note on Schnoozle's church. It is an all Taiwanese presbyterian church. Now, to Jews, religion is divided into two distinct groups, Jews and Non-Jews. Seriously, that's all we care about. Presbyterian, Lutheran, Catholic, Christian, Baptist.....whatever, to us they are all Goyim.

So our Christmas begins. Schnoozle and I arrive at her church on the eve of Christmas. The first thing I notice is that the parking lot is a bit of a mess. Granted, it's loose gravel and there aren't any lines, but none the less, just about every car is parked crooked, several are still attempting to park. My confusion quickly cleared when I remembered that this is an all Asian church. We walk into the church and take a seat in one of the pews. I glance around and was instantly reminded of Sesame Street's famous "one of these things is not like the other". Yeah, I am the ONLY round eye in the place. No problem, I can handle it. We stand as the Pastor enters and I do my best to hide a proud smile. I am clearly the tallest person in the room. Nice. The pastor does his thing, we sit, we stand, talk about the greatness of the J-man and so on. Peace be with you and also with you...and it's time to sing. Enter the choir...the all asian choir. Believe it or not, Schnoozle has never seen the movie "A Christmas Story". But since I'm pretty confident anyone reading this blog has, you'll remember Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra. I had a live performance. The Choir started out with A Chird is Born in Bethraham, did a couple more songs and ended with a truly heart warming Sirent Night. Awesome.

It's now Christmas day. Schnoozle and I head over to her parent's house. We are going to be making a homemade meal. We start with some traditional Asian appetizers, soy tofu something, sliced pork and some kind of veggies. We then made homemade pork dumplings. For any of the members of my tribe that may be reading, think Kreplach but with a pork filling. We ate the delicious dumplings and then it was time for a movie. We put in "Little Miss Sunshine" and all watched it together. Presents were exchanged, hugs, and "Zai Jien's". (chinese for good bye...one of the 6 chinese words I have learned) On the ride home, I said to Schnoozle..."So let me get this straight, on Christmas day you have chinese food and watch a movie? I hate to break this to you, but that's Jewish Christmas."

Even though "one of these things may not be rike the other"....I guess we're not so different after all.

6 comments:

Gloria said...

Very true. Thanks for not mentioning me in your post. I was definitely there. You know, other younger-looking Asian girl about Grace's height...

Anonymous said...

This is getting funnier everyday. I loved the ending.There is nothing like a Jewish Christmas with the eggrolls and fortune cookies and the popcorn at the movies.Think about coming home and we can have a real Jewish/Christmas.

sitdowncomedy said...

This is a great site. Keep up the good work. Since I can no longer stay awake for late night TV, your discertations are a more than ample substitute.

Anonymous said...

hahaha this is so cute! Definately cool to see how other families celebrate Christmas. your writing is very witty and funny. nice!

Anonymous said...

I feel like it's important to be REAL. Correction, there are some Taiwanese who do indeed have "round eyes," and two, I'm pretty sure you weren't the only "tall guy" there. No offense, but I can't really handle over-the-top ego inflation.

Second, I think it's really cute how you guys are open and understanding. I too agree that there's really not much of a difference in terms of ethnic/religious traditions. I mean, I think we can say that there is some sort of divine entity out there, but it's all because we choose to believe in such differences. I believe in the importance to spread the awareness that there is no difference until we choose to believe so.

On that note, I genuinely wish that you continue to spread the love one witty word at a time, and may your love and marriage to the understanding and gorgeous Schnoozle last forever and and ever!!! :) My best wishes always!! (no sarcasm whatsoever)

P.S. Please help Glo with her essay!! I KNOW that I don't even have to say this. ;)

Anonymous said...

Very interesting and personal!!! I was expecting something fictional though I like the reality! And, because I'm a diversity freak, I really enjoyed what you wrote! It's always interesting to experience different cultures and know, that in the end, you really aren't that much different from the person standing next to you! Lastly, I give all my hopes and blessings for you and your schnoozle in the future and beyond! May your "X-mases" be filled with even more surprises and learning opportunities!